This past week I was blessed to have a short time with my family. They were able to meet me down in Florida for their Spring Break. I still don’t have my work visa yet, so I had to leave Jamaica briefly, making this timeframe work well with my exit and re-entry. Both grandparents are also down in Florida for the winter, so we had a wonderful and relaxing time together. In the end, it felt too short, and to be honest, I long for the irreplaceable connection and laughter that my family shares. I don’t want to leave that. I can go without the showers, the "American" food, or the constant internet connection. Those things are all cool and stuff, but more than anything, I miss my family. Being around them makes me realize what a blessing and joy they are.

Frankly, if faced with the choice right now, I would seriously debate not stepping on flight 833 to Jamaica. I would love to stay home, hang around and laugh with my brothers, joke with Maddie, punch Nate (brotherly style), watch their basketball games, embarrass them, listen to hot new jams together, basically just live life with them again. I’m not really feeling super stoked about not being a part of their lives for most of 2016. I’m like twenty years old, and that typically means it’s time to start “moving on to big-adult-style things”  - things like serious relationships, apartments, long-term jobs, etc. In a couple more years, hanging out with my siblings may not be quite the same, as we all progress further onto God’s paths for each of our lives. Maybe I’m being a little pessimistic, but sometimes this is a part of life.

At the heart of it all, I’m terrified at the thought of losing the closeness with my family. I’m terrified of watching a year go by from the outside — looking in on their lives. I hate the thought of me becoming, “that other brother,” who isn’t really connected or attached to my sibling’s daily lives. 

Sometimes it isn’t easy to be obedient to what God is asking you to do. Sometimes it hurts, seems to be the wrong direction and counter-intuitive. Sometimes He asks you give up something that is very dear to you, to trust that He has far better things in store. So for now, I’m trusting His timing and His plan to have me here in Jamaica. I believe that He has called me to be here for 2016 and live with these awesome Robin’s Nest kids. That means being far away from my family, whom I love. But I’m trusting Jesus and seeking to be obedient in every area of my life. Pray for me and for my family this week — and thanks for reading.